📝Writer EggU Counselor Mi-yan
When you think about having a second child, one of your biggest worries is probably the timing of pregnancy and returning to work, right?
How soon after giving birth to your first child should you start trying to conceive? There are a ton of things to consider, such as your physical condition, mental preparation, support system, and the impact on your work. Today, I'd like to briefly introduce some points to consider.
When you think about your body When is the best time to get pregnant with a second child?
This is a question that often comes up in EggU counseling sessions. After giving birth to your first child, your hormones and uterus need to recover in order to safely conceive and give birth. WHO (World Health Organization) guidelines recommend waiting at least 18 months, and ideally 24 months, since your last birth.*
However, there are couples who want to have multiple children, and some who feel they cannot wait that long given their age. Many obstetricians and gynecologists in Japan recommend waiting at least a year before conceiving. However, as the circumstances surrounding your first birth also play a role, we recommend consulting with your gynecologist about the best time to conceive .
Additionally, in a breastfeeding woman's body, the prolactin hormone suppresses menstruation and ovulation, making it difficult for pregnancy to occur. After giving birth, the timing of menstruation resuming varies from woman to woman, and it is natural for the ovulation cycle to become irregular. If your period has not returned even when it is time to consider having a second child, it is important to consult a doctor. **
What should you think about to prepare mentally?
You'll also want to consider mental health issues when considering the timing of having a second child . What does your partner think? What will the workload be like if you have a second child? How can you share the housework and childcare responsibilities so that both of you can comfortably do so? What kind of support is available? What can you prepare financially? It's a good idea to discuss these things with your partner.
Of course, you and your partner need to be mentally prepared, but it's also important to consider the feelings of your first child . Will your older child have to endure the pain of having a baby? What's the ideal age gap? Should you wait until your older child is old enough to take care of the newborn? Or is it better to have them close in age so they can play together? There are plenty of things to worry about.
While each situation will likely vary depending on the family's way of thinking and the personality, interests, and developmental stage of the first child, one thing we can all agree on is that there are some things we can control and some we can't . For example, we can't control whether we'll be able to conceive a second child quickly or how our older child will treat our younger child. Therefore, instead of focusing on what we can't control, we should focus on what we can . For example, we can communicate that welcoming a new baby is a positive thing by being more intimate with our older child and explaining our intentions to have a second child in an age-appropriate way.
What will be the impact on work and when will you be able to return?
Another worrying factor when considering a second child is how to balance it with work if you plan to continue working. If you've already returned to work after giving birth to your first child, you may be wondering when would be the best time to get pregnant with your second child. If you get pregnant again soon after returning from maternity leave or childcare leave, will you be a nuisance to those around you? You've been offered a promotion, but what would happen if you got pregnant now? If you get promoted, will you be able to handle the increased responsibilities at work before you get pregnant and have a second child? The more you think about these specific issues, the more endless they become.
Also, if you have not yet returned to work after giving birth to your first child, there is a big difference between returning to work and then starting to try to conceive a second child, or taking the plunge and starting to try to conceive a second child, giving birth, and then returning to work.
In either case, the impact on your work and the timing of your return will depend on your support system. Major factors will include how much housework and childcare you and your partner can share, whether you can use resources such as daycare centers, kindergartens, other family members, or babysitters, and whether there are systems in your workplace that you can use.
The important thing is not to try to do everything by yourself. With the traditional division of roles between men and women still prevalent, if you think "I have to do the housework and childcare," it's natural that as your family grows and your responsibilities increase, it will become difficult. For this reason, it's important to have a good discussion with your partner, clarify what kind of support you can get, what you can share, and what you can't, and work as a team to prepare for the arrival of your second child .
EggU's online life coaching can help with many of these concerns. We help you create a life plan that suits you by fundamentally rethinking the "obvious" and "shoulds" that you have created for yourself and clarifying your priorities and roles . If you're interested, please click this link for more details!
Learn more about online coaching here!
References
*World Health Organization. Report of a WHO Technical Consultation on Birth Spacing. Geneva: WHO; pp. 17-18. 2005. Available at: http://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/handle/10665/69855/WHO_RHR_07.1_eng.pdf
**Japan Society of Obstetrics and Gynecology, "Postpartum Contraception" https://www.jaog.or.jp/sep2012/JAPANESE/MEMBERS/TANPA/H13/010813.htm
📝Writer EggU Counselor Mi-yan
After obtaining a nursing qualification in Australia, she experienced marriage, pregnancy, infertility, pregnancy, and childbirth in her late 30s, and struggled with her career and life plans. Currently working as a nurse, she also works as an EggU counselor and career/life coach.
